I think my yoga practice has done me a disservice in an area of of life. I don’t blame yoga, I blame the somewhat icky pursuit of balance. Different extremes perhaps being safely over explored in my yoga practice. Ok wtf am I talking about–right? I am talking about- not taking action. Yoga started out for me from a place of non-action, awaiting, meditating and grounding my oh so restless soul in a consistent practice, (or at least trying to.) We all are in need something at different times whether it’s a hug, money, home, community, health, sleep, food, god, laughter, space, closeness. So as free bird, I came into yoga having worn my wings out. I came into yoga to chill the f*out and find space between my thoughts. On my mat, I found that- now I’m pretty chill, and grateful- and it’s time to test my wings again, safely. So I’ve decided to jot down what I would do, if I could do anything. If I could fly. What I came up with was this:
Eat when I’m hungry. Move when I’m restless. Sleep when I’m tired. Travel when I want to see. Help where I’m needed. Cry when I’m sad. Laugh when it’s funny. Talk when I need to be heard. Listen when I need to hear. Go where I need to go. Trust money/ support will be there. Take care of myself. Take care of others. Feel healthy. Feel nourished. Feel warm. Feel rested. Feel peaceful. Love wholeheartidly. Be open to connection. Be kind. Trust my gifts are enough. Trust my intuition moment to moment as a guide leading me. Be present. Pursue that which I deeply want, deeply love, and deeply am invested in- meanwhile releasing all the rest.
Sweetly, lovingly, patiently reminding myself over and over this is the unfolding of a life.
Oh so I made some cookies, they are simple and yummier than regular chocolate chip cookies, gluten free so go ahead have one, hey have three with a glass of almond milk. I don’t have photos because my phone won’t upload them. But you can use your imagination.
I am starting up this blog again.
It’s been several years coming but I am in love with baking again. I’m in the process of shedding and reexamining much of my present life. I have been gifted time to look closely at what’s important, and what perhaps I have been holding onto that isn’t so important. I took a month (an entire month) to visit a dear friend and quiet myself long enough to see what I need to see. Not to mention some downtime to laugh, dream and cook food.
In one sense, I am overwelmed with what an opportunity this is, not only am I free from the distractions of bills, work and obligations. I am being taken care of and nurtured by community, sunshine, food, and deep rest. It’s amazing what something like freedom and space can do to a person– mostly I am slung shot back and forth between bliss and fear. With space comes more space, and with more space comes hearing and seeing the things I’ll say I don’t see and hear when I am so dam busy!
So I have a can of pumpkin and a muffin tin. This kitchen I’ve been cooking and baking in is well equipped and just lovely, but the muffin tin– is my staple this month. I’ve made two different types of muffins so far; blueberry almond flour and pumpkin chocolate chip coconut flour. Today we are moving into a whole new realm; vegan pumpkin cheesecake muffin bites. I will tell you a secret; I love that I am discovering a healthy, wholesome way to bake. I’ll tell you another secret, these aren’t actually baked, they are formed in the freezer. Enough said, go forth and lean into this day, nourish yourself with that which feeds your soul and body, and don’t forget to say thank you.
What? Muffins? On a morning like this?
I have not been actively following the election, but there’s a weight this morning so heavy it’s impossible to distract oneself. Despite the many distractions we humans have up our sleeves, it’s too heavy to resist. I cringe to say the word, but it feels like hopelessness. I can say for myself this is something I’ll do anything not to feel. Whatever it is it’s real, it woke me up in the middle of the night and told me I was not going to be celebrating like I so hoped to be.
I feel baffled, and even more lost than normal. We can all talk until we are blue in the face, and there’s no doubt in me that we will, but the truth is it won’t change any of this. What we resist, persists. I have been learning that lesson in the most painful of ways this past year.
So the question for me is in the face of fear and anger is. How can we deepen our faith and expand on love to get ourselves through this day? How can we embrace the divine mother goddess that nourishes and protects all things? I do know she is not on our TV screens. She’s on our yoga mats, she’s in nature, our community, our family, she’s in listening deeply to eachother, she’s in neck rubs and playing hide and seek in closets, she is making muffins.
These muffins are not only delicious but they are healthy, they are made of almond flour. Basically, it’s a sweet protein burst with a few cacao nibs and some blueberries. It’s the kind of muffin you eat to muster deep down inside a glimpse of faith to stand up after gracefully having filled yourself with whatever nourishes you. As we stand alive in in the face of hopelessness, let’s love and trust like never before, and not in the saintly way, but in the fully human way.