pecans

Sometimes there is nothing to do to make a situation better sometimes you just have to feel how horribly sad it is until it’s ready to go. Sometimes that can take days, months, years and meanwhile there is life and the moments we have in between this time it takes.

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Sometimes you have to bake a cake and maybe just for a moment forget your troubles and forget how much it can hurt to be an active member of this thing we call life.

When I was in my first year of acting school I fell in love with this guy named Max he was in my class and we would hang out together after class and drink or eat while wandering the Upper East Side. We were misfits so we hit it off quick. He smelled like sweat and he wore these big hats even when it wasn’t cold outside. His face was so beautiful and he was so tall. After our first year of school he went back to Canada and I stayed in New York. We were in class one day and Max was working on this scene in front of the rest of the class. He was struggling really badly. The teacher asked him to pick the person in the room he trusted more than anyone else and he said Sam right away he didn’t even think about it, it just came out my name. I was shocked that anyone felt that way about me. I didn’t consider myself to be this safe or trustworthy person at least not towards myself. But despite it- I went up and held him there. We never spoke of it again.

Today I honestly do not know if there is anything better in the world than being the person who can be there to love another person when they need it. I spent the weekend in North Carolina with Katie and Eric all I can is how ridiculously proud I am to love you both. We baked ourselves a Pecan Cake because life demanded it.

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