re-learning

One of the greatest things about being human is the ability to re-learn.

Isn’t it funny how certain thoughts lead to thoughts that lead to other thoughts? How you can be doing something and it reminds you of something and from there you are time traveling and reminiscing into long forgotten lands. We spend all this time working on being present and in this moment. Yet there are the times when we need a good kick in memory lane. I had this happen the other day while I was filling out paperwork. I was brought back to being in elementary school and that thought led me to camping trips, which inspired me to bake with marshmallows. Ah, the mind!

So, I had to fill out all this paperwork-for work. This paperwork was obnoxious because there was way more than seemed necessary. Simply; the reality of paperwork. Plus there was a video and a quiz. So I show up for my appointment to meet the women who is taking me through the paperwork and because of limited space they plop me into a glorified closet to fill it out. 20 forms later, a video and a quiz I am finally finished. The lady comes back into the closet and tells me there is a form we have to re-do. She starts filling out her side of the form. I had been fine up until this moment, but all of a sudden I become wildly irritated and impatient. She is writing so slowly and in cursive- curving each letter and dotting each ‘i’. This complete annoyance goes into a sudden flashback. It was as if something took hold of my agitation and shoved a giant marshmallow in its mouth to quiet it. This flashback takes me to early grade school; a chunky, smiley curly blonde with pigtails sitting cross-legged on the floor (yes, I went to private hippie school where we sat on floors and wore slippers.) Here I sit practicing my cursive. I am reminded of the hours spent at those tables where I took colored pencils and crayons and ballpoint pens and I wrote my name over and over and over again. I would write slowly never wanting the school day to end striving for perfection with my letters which in my eyes I always mastered. I remember feeling like I was the greatest thing in the world because I could do this. I was engrossed in it. I was thrilled to be doing something so adult & so incredible with my hands.

So here I am with all this paperwork & watching this women across from me simply writing and I realized that is what I want. I want to be in love with everything the way I was when I was connecting those letters on paper at 8 years old. At some point I got methodical, fast & righteous in feeling I somehow deserve to take all this for granted. Here I am filling out my name as fast as I can to get to the next page so I can get to the next page so I can get to the next, so that I can be done. So that I can move onto plowing through whatever is next? The girl writing her name showed me how something so simple could make her so happy & how we have the ability to fall in love with any and every small action. It’s a matter of giving our heart to it. So thank you paperwork lady for reminding me of that.

Back to thoughts that lead to thoughts. This trip down memory lane around that age brought me to camping with the Wieners. As a kid I used to go camping with the Wieners (yes that was there last name.) They are a story for another day, they were beyond fun.  I wanted to make a camping treat for you- a twist on smores. These are classy smores and they are made in the kitchen. Inspired by; http://joythebaker.com

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