life gets busy

Excuse the sad empty cake box.

Life has been keeping me away from the oven. It’s had me out & about dealing with some things …  there will be time to sit and eat sweets once I retire south of here.

Life gets a little hectic and scattered. I end up getting myself involved with communes and swamis who try to hold my hand, unusual love laws and furry writers who require passwords I tend to forget. I end up taking red eyes across the country to regain my sanity and hug the people who matter most to me.

This heart was hanging from the trees while hiking back East. I have been contemplating why it seems I can only love something fully and the way I want to once it’s gone ..  This could be what the ‘presence fad’ is  about keeping us from re-living the past and jumping head first into the future. I feel the need more and more to appreciate the moments and not because it’s the right thing to  do but  because it hurts too much afterwards to know I missed out. I think I could choose to travel my whole life and end up right here right where I started.

From up here where the skies are clear I can see it in the people whose roof I slept under most of my life. I can see it in those summers spent chasing myself in circles when I could have been sitting at her kitchen table and had the answers to these life questions right in my palms. In the soul mates who knew my shadows and loved me anyway. All of this longing has been and continues to be right here. From up here where the skies are clear I can see this  has all been here all along.

One of my teachers said that Yoga is the longing for that which we have never lost. Somewhere we loose sense of that knowing so we spend this life searching to regain that feeling of wholeness.  Looking at it that way I can see that all of my life I have had magic right at my fingertips. All the time. When I don’t see it, it’s from being distracted  by searching too hard.

Don’t doubt it , it’s all right here. It’s longing for us to see it just as much as we are longing to find it.

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