life gets busy

Excuse the sad empty cake box.

Life has been keeping me away from the oven. It’s had me out & about dealing with some things …  there will be time to sit and eat sweets once I retire south of here.

Life gets a little hectic and scattered. I end up getting myself involved with communes and swamis who try to hold my hand, unusual love laws and furry writers who require passwords I tend to forget. I end up taking red eyes across the country to regain my sanity and hug the people who matter most to me.

This heart was hanging from the trees while hiking back East. I have been contemplating why it seems I can only love something fully and the way I want to once it’s gone ..  This could be what the ‘presence fad’ is  about keeping us from re-living the past and jumping head first into the future. I feel the need more and more to appreciate the moments and not because it’s the right thing to  do but  because it hurts too much afterwards to know I missed out. I think I could choose to travel my whole life and end up right here right where I started.

From up here where the skies are clear I can see it in the people whose roof I slept under most of my life. I can see it in those summers spent chasing myself in circles when I could have been sitting at her kitchen table and had the answers to these life questions right in my palms. In the soul mates who knew my shadows and loved me anyway. All of this longing has been and continues to be right here. From up here where the skies are clear I can see this  has all been here all along.

One of my teachers said that Yoga is the longing for that which we have never lost. Somewhere we loose sense of that knowing so we spend this life searching to regain that feeling of wholeness.  Looking at it that way I can see that all of my life I have had magic right at my fingertips. All the time. When I don’t see it, it’s from being distracted  by searching too hard.

Don’t doubt it , it’s all right here. It’s longing for us to see it just as much as we are longing to find it.

information

Things I didn’t know before ;

I’m sort of an introvert.

I don’t have as much energy as I’ve been pretending to have.

I don’t like lots of rules with people yelling.

I think I’m sort of sensitive  to – everything.

I like to move and sweat and work with my hands afterwards I like to sit still.

I supposedly ‘nap?’

I want to live where it’s sunny and I can feel ocean. Which may mean I don’t want to live in the PNW, where it rains this much.

I really don’t know ‘the kind of person’ I am… and I’m afraid of people who seem like they do.

I prefer to be alone than be around a bunch of people and pretend to have it all figured out. On the other hand if we can bask in the unknown as fellow confusters – – I’m usually game.

People who are overly ambitious (the ones you can feel about to bulldoze through you) yea they scare me too.

I love being a body that teaches other bodies yoga. I love it.

I’m starting to believe it’s more important to love than to try to get people to love me.

Eating lots of fruits and veggies makes me feel good about myself. A-duh.

Family is necessary, like breathing and eating in whatever form it’s been handed to us we need it to survive.

My gut has more to say than my brain.

I’m not a sports person. Not even hockey.

I tend to turn into an entirely other form of human/person if I’m out past 10 PM. (you can say ol lady , I say yogi…)

It’s not fun to bake if you have no one to bake for.

Lessons never stop coming if I don’t stop reaching.

All of this happening in me in fact is not wrong ( I sort of believe that ) it’s just information.

So I continue to move and stretch.  We continue to move & stretch.

On another note; I did not make cake today.  Like I said I’ve been trying to eat more veggies. But I did see a hummingbird. Legends say that hummingbirds float free of time..