I have no idea what my work on this earth is. I continually get hints of what I don’t want it to be. I like making lists of things I don’t want those things I’ve tried or continually do over and over again (the definition of ‘insanity.) Yeah, those things that I know I don’t want…
But what it’s to look like? What do I get to say I do for a living? I do feel this pull from in my heart to serve the planet through art and healing and I am trucking on towards it no matter how unclear and frustrating it all currently seems. A mentor said to me; our life story is what we end up doing for work. What a relief it was to hear because if that is true we have started our work here since we are A living and B hopefully trying to stay awake for it. Putting one foot in front of the other and not believing the unhelpful chatter that happens above the heart.
I am working at a bakery although I hardly bake.
I work boxing cupcakes, scooping batter, washing dishes, and taking cake orders. In between all this I spy on the bakers and try to pick up moves. I watch the girls ice and cut cakes and decorate them with under water themes or Asian designs. I scoop cinnamon rolls into bags for pregnant ladies and place cupcakes on napkins as 6-year-old boys lick the frosting off before their mothers have even paid.
They let us wear yoga pants at work and by the end of my shift I’m covered in flour, sugar and buttercream. I go right from the bakery to yoga wearing these pants. I am not sure what my work here is but I think it has something to do with the yoga of cake. I have this pull from deep in my gut to wake myself and everyone I meet up to the divinity that is all around us and at the same time I want to put frosting on all our faces. I want to talk about these things that are so hard to say out loud. I want to somehow find sparks of light in things that are just too dark to deal with alone. I want you to heal so I can too.