Shake me up

People ask me daily why I moved here. I despise the question. It’s like the taste of luke warm salt water in my mouth.  The question is vague, and there are too many reasons to sum it up to you in one brief moment. If we were to sit down relax chat for a while maybe I could come up with a vague explanation. But, on the spot there’s no phrase for me to lean on like a job, a guy. . I can’t think of any other normal people answers besides jobs and guys.

I moved here to build a web that  feels like my own.

This web of my own has been shaken up daily. I’ve been hired, fired, quit, dumped, totaled . . I’ve been learning a lot, humbled a lot. Sometimes I have to laugh at myself when I think I have it figured out just right. Only to walk  outside my tidy tiny box. I step out of  my comforts, into the uncomfortable, the messy. I’m seeing daily that I am to be no expert on all this.

I walked outside yesterday morning to go to teach my yoga class, to find Whitey (my car) had  been totaled. Smashed in and flipped over on his side. Someone in the middle of the night was not in any state to be driving. Don’t drink and drive. Believe me I’m guilty of  it in my other life. Thanks to the angels who kept me alive. Us alive. Thank you. Thank you.

These things happen, this life is happening, it’s shaking us up.  Rattling us up into pieces. I  believe it’s for a reason. To make space. I’ve decided I don’t want the shaking to stop. Keep shaking, keep reminding me. Show me there’s more for me here. There’s more for us here.

So shake me up all you want, just don’t ask me what I’m doing here.

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3 responses

  1. Oh no, Whitey! Wow, I can’t believe it was flipped over on its side – that’s some serious business. Sending lots of love your way, Sam. At least no one was in the car when it was hit, and you’re strong and upbeat enough to take it in stride. Life! Jeez. xo

  2. I love your writing. i LOVE your writing. And I hope I get to know you in your new life (since I knew you in your aforementioned “other life” – I think). I’m also grateful those angels kept us alive!

    • Margot Thank you so much it means so much to hear that from you. It would be magical to spend some time together as grown gals I look forward to that day. You can stay with me ANYTIME you come to visit ! xx

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